The Side-Effects of Getting Engaged

For the majority of young (and even a few older) couples, getting engaged is the first big step towards something bigger still. Signalling their mutual love and desire to commit through a symbolic proposal and offering, the engagement proposal definitively cements a relationship which, until then, might have really gone in any number of ways.

Of course, with this declared increase in commitment come a few collateral ‘side-effects’. Brides- and grooms-to-be who have just declared that they will be getting engaged soon, or have gone ahead with the act itself, may notice a change in the attitudes of both themselves and their friends.

Personal Effects

In one’s personal outlook on commitment and marriage, the side-effects of getting engaged can manifest themselves in a number of ways. The most blatant ‘symptoms’ in this regard are likely to come from the bride’s side, but the groom will also undoubtedly be affected, though he may demonstrate it in a slightly more subdued manner.

One of the most common collateral effects of an engagement proposal for a bride is to stare incessantly at her own hand. The reason for this is, of course, the sudden presence of a relatively large and undoubtedly appealing ring on her finger, one that bears admiring repeatedly, as well as displaying to friends and family. Furthermore, programmes and films revolving around weddings will begin, in the bride’s eye, to take on a different nature, and detailed wedding plans may begin to form in her mind. For the groom, on the other hand, this change will manifest itself mostly through a perceptible but impossible-to-define change in his relationship to his future bride. Even couples who have been living together for years are not immune to this change, which tends to lead to a lot of decision-making and future-planning in the period immediately after getting engaged. It is important that couples do not interpret these changes as the end of the ‘fun’ in the relationship, but rather as necessary steps in the process of spending the rest of their lives together.

Effects On Others

Even more than for the bride and groom, however, an engagement proposal is likely to affect their immediately family and closest friends. These will be the people endlessly extending congratulations, asking to see the ring and wanting to hear detailed accounts of the proposal as many times as the couple are willing to relay them. Future brides and grooms should also be prepared to hear a considerable amount of unsolicited wedding advice and to fend off an inordinate number of questions regarding wedding dates.

It is important, however, that couples do not expect every member of their circle to immediately be ‘on board’ with this important new step in their lives; there will most likely be the occasional naysayer, and the bride- and groom-to-be should be prepared to hear criticism, so that they do not allow it to destroy their relationship. Best friends and parents can also provide much-needed support should a situation like this arise.

These are only a few of the collateral effects couples can expect as a result of announcing their engagement. Should they be able to take them in stride, however, these changes in daily life and behaviour are unlikely to have any major or lasting effect on their happiness.

Frederick Holm is staff writer for of the F&L Designer Guides, compiled and written to help consumers choose the best and the most unique engagement ring designers in the UK. Join the F&L journey that covers topics relatedto getting engaged, choosing the right stone, affording your engagement ring and how to work with talented designers.

Writer and Online Marketing Manager in London.