Love guru in delhi and love guru specialist in delhi
Love is as critical for your mind and body as oxygen. It's notnegotiable. The more connected you are, the healthier you will be bothphysically and emotionally. The less connected you are, the more you areat risk.
It is also true that the less love you have, the more depressionyou are likely to experience in your life. Love is probably the bestantidepressant there is because one of the most common sources ofdepression is feeling unloved. Most depressed people don't lovethemselves and they do not feel loved by others. They also are veryself-focused, making them less attractive to others and depriving them ofopportunities to learn the skills of love.
There is a mythology in our culture that love just happens. As aresult, the depressed often sit around passively waiting for someone tolove them. But love doesn't work that way. To get love and keep love youhave to go out and be active and learn a variety of specificskills.
Most of us get our ideas of love from popular culture. We come tobelieve that love is something that sweeps us off our feet. But thepop-culture ideal of love consists of unrealistic images created forentertainment, which is one reason so many of us are set up to bedepressed. It's part of our national vulnerability, like eating junkfood, constantly stimulated by images of instant gratification. We thinkit is love when it's simply distraction and infatuation.
One consequence is that when we hit real love we become upset anddisappointed because there are many things that do not fit the culturalideal. Some of us get demanding and controlling, wanting someone else todo what we think our ideal of romance should be, without realizing ourideal is misplaced.
It is not only possible but necessary to change one's approach tolove to ward off depression. Follow these action strategies to get moreof what you want out of life—to love and be loved.
Recognize the difference between limerance and love. Limerance isthe psychological state of deep infatuation. It feels good but rarelylasts. Limerance is that first stage of mad attraction whereby all thehormones are flowing and things feel so right. Limerance lasts, onaverage, six months. It can progress to love. Love mostly startsout as limerance, but limerance doesn't always evolve into love.Know that love is a learned skill, not something that comes fromhormones or emotion particularly. Erich Fromm called it "an act of will."If you don't learn the skills of love you virtually guarantee that youwill be depressed, not only because you will not be connected enough butbecause you will have many failure experiences.Learn good communication skills. They are a means by which youdevelop trust and intensify connection. The more you can communicate theless depressed you will be because you will feel known andunderstood.There are always core differences between two people, no matter howgood or close you are, and if the relationship is going right thosedifferences surface. The issue then is to identify the differences andnegotiate them so that they don't distance you or kill therelationship.
You do that by understanding where the other person is coming from,who that person is, and by being able to represent yourself. When thedifferences are known you must be able to negotiate and compromise onthem until you find a common ground that works for both.
Focus on the other person. Rather than focus on what you aregetting and how you are being treated, read your partner's need. Whatdoes this person really need for his/her own well-being? This is a verytough skill for people to learn in our narcissistic culture. Of course,you don't lose yourself in the process; you make sure you're also doingenough self-care.Help someone else. Depression keeps people so focused onthemselves they don't get outside themselves enough to be able to learnto love. The more you can focus on others and learn to respond and meettheir needs, the better you are going to do in love.Develop the ability to accommodate simultaneous reality. Theloved one's reality is as important as your own, and you need to be asaware of it as of your own. What are they really saying, what are theyreally needing? Depressed people think the only reality is their owndepressed reality.Actively dispute your internal messages of inadequacy.Sensitivity to rejection is a cardinal feature of depression. As aconsequence of low self-esteem, every relationship blip is interpretedfar too personally as evidence of inadequacy. Quick to feel rejected by apartner, you then believe it is the treatment you fundamentally deserve.But the rejection really originates in you, and the feelings ofinadequacy are the depression speaking.Recognize that the internal voice is strong but it's not real. Talkback to it. "I'm not really being rejected, this isn't really evidence ofinadequacy. I made a mistake." Or "this isn't about me, this is somethingI just didn't know how to do and