The Power of Love

Love is as critical to your mind and body as oxygen. It is not negotiable. The more connected you are, the healthier you will be both physically and emotionally. The less connected you are, the more you will be at risk.

It is also true that the less love you have, the more depression you can experience in your life. love meter calculator is probably the best antidepressant that exists because one of the most common sources of depression is feeling unloved. Most depressed people do not love themselves and do not feel loved by others. They are also very self-centered, making them less attractive to others and depriving them of opportunities to learn the skills of love.

There is a mythology in our culture that love just happens. As a result, depressed people often sit passively waiting for someone to love them. But love does not work that way. To get love and maintain, you have to get out and be active and learn a variety of specific skills.

Most of us get our love ideas from popular culture. We come to believe that love is something that drags us. But pop culture's ideal of love consists of unrealistic images created for entertainment, which is why many of us are prepared to be depressed. It is part of our national vulnerability, like eating junk food, constantly stimulated by images of instant gratification. We think it's love when it's just distraction and infatuation.

One consequence is that when we reach, we become angry and disappointed because there are many things that do not fit with the cultural ideal. Some of us demand and control ourselves, we want someone else to do what we think our ideal of romance should be, without realizing that our ideal is out of place.

It is not only possible but necessary to change the focus of love to avoid depression. Follow these action strategies to get more of what you want out of life: love and be loved.

• Recognize the difference between limerancia and love. The limerancia is the psychological state of the deep infatuación. It feels good but rarely lasts. Limerancia is the first stage of the crazy attraction in which all the hormones flow and things feel so good. Limerance lasts, on average, six months. You can progress to love. Love begins mainly as limerancia, but the limerancia does not always evolve towards the love.
• Know that love is a skill that is learned, not something that comes from hormones or emotions in particular. Erich Fromm called it "an act of will". If you do not learn the skills of love, we virtually guarantee that you will be depressed, not only because you will not be connected enough but because you will have many experiences of failure.
• Learn good communication skills. They are a means by which you develop confidence and intensify the connection. The more you can communicate, the less depressed you will be because you will feel known and understood.

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• There are always fundamental differences between two people, no matter how good or close, and if the relationship is going well, those differences arise. The problem then is to identify the differences and negotiate them so that they do not take you away or kill the relationship.
• He does this by understanding where the other person comes from, who that person is, and being able to represent himself. When you know the differences, you must be able to negotiate and commit to them until you find a common ground that works for both.
• Focus on the other person. Instead of focusing on what you are receiving and how you treat it, read your partner's needs. What does this person really need for his own well-being? This is a very difficult skill for people to learn in our narcissistic culture. Of course, you do not get lost in the process; you make sure that you are also doing enough personal care and check love meter.
• Help someone else. Depression keeps people so focused on themselves that they do not get out of themselves enough to learn to love. The more you can focus on others and learn to respond and meet their needs, the better you will do in love.
• Develop the ability to accommodate the simultaneous reality. The reality of the loved one is as important as yours, and you need to be as aware of it as your own. What are they really saying, what do they really need? Depressed people think that the only reality is their own depressed reality.
• Actively dispute your internal insufficiency messages. The sensitivity to rejection is a cardinal feature of depression. As a consequence of low self-esteem, each relationship problem is interpreted too personally as evidence of inadequacy. When you feel rejected by a partner, you think that it is the treatment you deserve fundamentally.