Speaking To Your Children About Your Elderly Care - When Is The Right Time?

No one likes the think they will get old or in need of care but at some point in our lives, we will need help. Many people have specific ideas about what they want to happen later in life and, more importantly in many ways, what they don’t want to happen.

It is important that if you have concerns or issues along with a list of ‘do and do not’ that you talk with your nearest and dearest about your wishes. But when is the right time? Do it too early and you may worry your children, but leave it too late and you may not get the kind of care that you really want.

Is there a ‘right time’?

In many ways, there isn’t but there can be times when having a serious conversation about your wishes presents itself;

• Make it part of talking with your children and not something to be feared

With your children adults and possibly flown the nest and starting families of their own, their mindset will have changed. With a keener understanding of responsibilities as a parent, they will appreciate being able to discuss with you their responsibilities to you time hurtles on.

• When opportunities arise

Occasionally, we are handed a golden opportunity that allows us to open up to our children about the practicalities of what you want to happen when you are older. It could be as something is raisedin the media or on social media that kickstartthe conversation or a situation that happens in real life to someone else. If the time feels right to discuss everything from a live-in carerto selling the family home to pay for your care, take it.

• When your health starts to change

Many people find that the push that starts the conversation comes with some kind of life change such as when there is a change in health. The realisation that you are not as ‘quick’ as you were or you have health difficulties to manage can be the catalyst to discussing with your children what you want to happen (and not happen) as your health and care needsbecome more acute.

• Bereavement

Another big life change is when we lose someone close to us. Losing a partner is devastating, throwing life and the future into sharp focus. Maybe you have learnt lessons about just how difficult it can be to advocate on behalf of a loved one when you are not certain that you are doing everything as they would want it. Again, this can be the opportunity you need to talk about the practical and financial implications of what you want to happen in relation to your future care.

Life doesn’t always follow the course that we have set for ourselves and this is why it is important you communicate your wishes to your familyso that they understand and support you too. There are many different care options, find out more at the Live-In Hub.