Domination and Submission – Important Considerations for Lovers

Most men are thrilled to learn that regular use – whether with a partner or through self-play – is a vital component of male organ health. The smooth muscle tissue of the member is strengthened by frequent exercise, and a regular supply of fresh blood flow keeps tumescence strong. For some couples, maintaining a satisfying intimate life may involve going beyond standard positions and scenarios to exploring the kinkier side of intimacy. For such couples, domination and submission ("dom/sub" for short) may be of interest.

To be done safely, there are many things that lovers need to think about and talk about before entering a domination and submission session. The following will introduce couples to this intimate practice as well as the respect and consideration it merits.

What is Dom/Sub?

In a dom/sub sensual relationship, one partner plays a dominant role, while the other is the submissive one. A man or woman can serve either role, depending on the individual’s desires. Dom/sub entails a power exchange. The dominant partner has near total control over the situation, while the submissive partner willingly hands over his or her power. The dominant one takes pleasure in his or her power; he or she also enjoys the trust required by the submissive one in order to put him- or herself in the dominant partner’s care. The submissive lover obtains pleasure from knowing that he or she is providing it to the dominant one, fulfilling his or her deepest wishes and desires. And, of course, physical pleasure is usually a component of sensual activity for the submissive partner as well.

Physical Dom/Sub

There are many different levels of dom/sub intensity that couples may be comfortable with. On the physical side of things, the practice may be extreme, involving principles of role play/discipline and sadism/masochism, and even here there is a range of intensity levels. A dom/sub couple may enjoy light hair-pulling and binding of the submissive partner’s wrists; they may also enjoy rougher play, such as hard spanking with a paddle and binding of both the wrists and ankles.

Dom/sub play may also be preferred in milder forms. Some couples want absolutely no physical pain or restrictions of movement in their romantic lives, in which case the physical domination may simply manifest as having the dominant partner tell the submissive one what to do and when. The submissive partner may act as a purely passive medium, for example, being moved around and positioned by the dominant one.

Emotional Dom/Sub

Some couples enjoy a psychological and emotional element to domination and submission. This can range from derogatory name-calling to more intense "head games." Some couples may have no interest in this type of power play, and it should always be pursued with caution even among the willing. It’s possible for something to seem okay before going into a session, only to find that it crosses a previously unknown boundary for the submissive partner when it occurs.

Boundaries and Trust

A dom/sub relationship is not safe to embark upon unless two partners trust and respect one another. Serious psychological, emotional and physical consequences can result without these two key ingredients of a healthy relationship. The dominant partner must have knowledge and respect of the submissive’s known boundaries, and the submissive partner must feel safe enough to speak up when something is crossing or approaching a line.

Before lovers bust out the handcuffs, then, they need to sit down and talk about boundaries. They also need to discuss what to do in case boundaries are crossed – generally, this involves stopping all activity immediately and talking, lovingly, about the problem. Many couples implement a safe word to stop activity; some use a "traffic light" system, involving a "yellow light" that simple warns the dominant one to ease up a bit without necessarily requiring total cessation.

Keep the Rod Ready

Whether a man plays the dominant or submissive role, his male organ will likely take quite a pounding. While it is good for the organ in many ways, frequent playtime can take a toll on the delicate male skin. A male organ health cream (health professionals recommend Man1 Man Oil) containing Shea butter and vitamin E may help maintain healthy skin in the face of regular friction. The best products also contain ingredients that support nerve and circulatory health, such as L-arginine and acetyl L-carnitine.