Love: Elad Strohmayer & Oren Ben-Yosef

Hello there

Elad, deputy consul general of Israel to the mid-Atlantic region and a resident of Philadelphia's Fairmount neighborhood since August 2005, vacationed in his homeland last June - a visit that coincided with Tel Aviv's Pride Week.

Festivities were just beginning when he met Oren, then a Microsoft senior account executive for government and health care in Israel.

"It was love at first site," Oren said. "The moment I laid eyes on him, I told my best friend, 'You know, I just met my husband.' "

It would take Elad a little longer to let himself fall that hard - but not much longer.

They went to a coffee shop to talk more, and began to learn not only how much appeal each has for the other and how well their personalities and interests mesh, but of connections between their families. For example: Both grew up in the suburbs of Tel Aviv, no farther apart than Bala Cynwyd and Narberth.

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When Oren introduced Elad to his friends, it was as if he'd always been part of the group. They marched in the Tel Aviv Gay Pride Parade together.

By the end of their second date, Elad wrestled with forces seemingly pulling him in opposite directions: The strong feeling that he'd finally met the right man, and the reality that they lived a 12-hour plane ride apart.

"I talked to my mom, my family, and my friends. I told them that I really want this guy, but I don't want to do long distance," Elad remembered. "They all said, 'If you want him, it doesn't matter. You'll find a way.' "

As Elad's vacation days dwindled, the two traveled to Masada for a production of the opera La Traviata. They also met up with Oren's parents, where more common threads were discovered. "Our families know each other from childhood," Elad said.

The ability to quickly recognize a match runs in the Ben-Yosef family. Oren's father, Ziki, was vacationing in Israel when he met Etti, Oren's mother. Three weeks later, Ziki had to return to Milan for the next semester of engineering school, so the couple married before he left. That was 45 happy years ago, and Elad's uncle was among their wedding guests.

By the time Elad had to leave Israel, he and Oren felt sure they had begun a story they describe as classic Disney, with two princes.

Oren told Elad not to worry about the distance - he would soon join him in Philadelphia. Two months later, he did.

How does forever sound?

In summer 2014, Elad, who is now 34, helped arrange a conference for high-tech Israeli companies in Philadelphia - a topic dear to both himself and Oren, now 43. Between sessions, Oren and Elad walked into a hallway at Drexel's LeBow College of Business for a break and a very personal conversation.

As a diplomat, Elad knows his time in any city is finite. "I don't know what will happen when I leave Philadelphia," he told Oren. "I know one thing: I want to be together. Let's get married."

Both agreed there was no reason to wait.

They called their families in Israel, who rejoiced at the news. That night at a Comcast Center reception honoring the Israeli delegation, the couple told a friend - Robin Schatz, Jewish Federation of Greater Philadelphia's director of government affairs. And Robin told Mayor Nutter that Elad and Oren were newly engaged. "You know, I can officiate the wedding," he told them.

It was so them

"We originally wanted a small wedding," Elad said. The one that evolved was small by Israeli standards - 150 people gathered at City Hall in the Mayor's Reception Room, where Nutter did, indeed, officiate, along with Rabbi Michael Beals. In her role as emcee, Nancy Gilboy, Citizens Diplomacy International president and friend of the couple, introduced the couple and invited the chuppah holders to take their places: Robin Schatz; Common Pleas Court Judge Abbe Fletman; lawyer and former Philadelphia-Israel Chamber of Commerce president Beth Cohen; and Joshua Sammon, Elad's best friend in Philadelphia.

The mayor and the rabbi passed the ceremony back and forth between them, saying some parts in Hebrew and some in English. The ketubah, or marriage contract, was read aloud. A cantor sang the seven blessings, they said the vows they had written to each other, and they broke the glass, symbolizing that what had been done could never be undone, as "Friend Like Me" from Disney's Aladdin played.

There is a debate about gay marriage going on in Israel, just as there is here, Elad said. In the U.S., gay marriage is federally recognized and is legally performed in a growing number of states. In Israel, gay marriages performed legally elsewhere are recognized, but they cannot yet be legally performed on Israeli soil.

Oren and Elad hope their story will help persuade citizens in both countries that gay people everywhere should have the right to marry. And they hope to be role models for young gay people - the kind they lacked growing up.

"Look at us. Our love is real," Oren said. "We both do important work, we are serious people, and we should be taken seriously like every other couple who wants to be married," said Elad.

A short wine and cheese reception at City Hall was followed by an Israeli/Mediterranean feast for 50 at Zahav.

Awestruck

The couple had pre-ceremony photos taken at Love Park. It was there that they met up with the friends and family members who were able to travel from Israel: Elad's father Ronny, brother Eyal, and dear friends Zered and Riki; Oren's parents, his brother Nir, and sister Tali.

"When you are dressed up as a groom, and you have your family with you, next to you, you know that you have their 100 percent support," Oren said.

It was then that his wedding day felt real. "I was very proud of Elad and myself - both of us - that we found each other."

One very important member of Elad's family couldn't make it in person: His mother, Judith, was recovering from surgery. Elad's father Skyped in Judith and Elad's niece, Amit, whom he says is more like his little sister. Judith and Amit had a chance to talk to Elad before the ceremony, and in her excitement and joy for her uncle, Amit began to cry.

"I started to cry, as well," Elad said. "Knowing that our family is supporting us, and that they love us, and have from day one... that's powerful."

Discretionary spending

A bargain: Rather than tuxes, the couple opted for "simple, beautiful and practical" matching navy blue suits, light purple shirts and fuchsia accessories - ensembles they can wear at future events.

The splurge: Every guest received a suede, fuchsia yarmulke with the couple's names and wedding date in both Hebrew and English.

The getaway

In February, the couple traveled to Israel to celebrate with friends and family who couldn't travel for the wedding, and had a second reception for 30. They also registered their marriage. Oren and Elad plan to take a honeymoon trip. "Don't ask when and where," Oren said. "But it could happen at any time - we like to be spontaneous."

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