Five tips for dating online without being a jerk

Dating online can be something of a minefield, particularly because it has its own etiquette that not everywhere shares. Even if you've carefully looked at your options, read your dating site reviews and picked the best sites for the job, there's still a lot to think about if you want to succeed. If you want to make friends, meet people and generally have a good experience with dating online, you need to make sure that you're following this etiquette – and that you treat everyone you speak to as well as possible. A lot of how to do that is in fact just common sense, but if you'd like a little advice to get you started we've put together these five tips to get you going.

1. Personalise Your Messages – And Keep Them Clean

If you want to get replies to the messages you send out to people you’re interested in, you need to make sure that they’re personal – that you’re not sending a generic hello you could have cut and pasted from a dozen other messages to a dozen other people. Look at their profiles, find things about them that interest you and that you have in common, and use those things to start a conversation. Don’t make your opener overtly sexual, either – almost everyone will ignore it, and many people will be offended or made uncomfortable by it.

2. Don't Sexualise Conversations, Photographs Or People

The rule above goes for all kinds of interactions you might have on dating sites. If you’re sending someone a private email, commenting on their photographs or trying to arrange a date, make sure you keep it non-sexual and non-physical until you’re certain they’re on the same page. You’ll put a lot of people off by posting them photos of your genitalia when that it’s what they wanted to see!

3. Make Sure You Tell the Truth From Start To Finish

Never give in to the temptation to make yourself sound more interesting than you really are – because anyone Relationship Advice you attract in that way is then pretty much precluded from becoming an important part of your life and someone who is close to you. If you’re going to have a close personal relationship with someone, you need them to know who you really are and what you really look like and like you for those reasons, not because of some fiction you made up to appeal to them.

4. Put Effort Into Making Your Communications Two-Way

Short replies, closed statements and blanket proclamations don’t make it easy for people to reply. No matter what medium you’re using to talk to someone, you need to put a little effort into asking them questions and keeping your replies open-ended if you want the conversation to continue.

5. Be Sure To Take Rejection With Good Grace

If someone isn’t interested in you or doesn’t reply to your message, the worst thing you can do is send them follow-up messages and try to guilt them into talking to you – particularly if you sound rude or accusatory while you’re doing it. When you’re not right for someone, you need to simply move on with dignity.

Don’t get so caught up in the quest for fun and perfection that you miss the perfectly wonderful ordinary person right in front of you who could change your life.