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Do you find difficult to cope with your partner’s infidelity? Here’s how to respond

Author: Cynthia Madison
by Cynthia Madison
Posted: Dec 02, 2019

This question is one of the most overwhelming ones, you will ever ask yourself. The moment you start wondering if your partner was faithful to you, your life changes. You cannot understand why this terrible thing has happened to you. It’s a bomb that can destroy your relationship, and you don’t know how to respond to it. What can you do to respond to this situation?

Are you sure your partner was infidel?

Even if you find it hard to accept, sometimes your intuition can be wrong, so before accusing your partner they’ve cheated on you, you need to ensure they were infidel. A call in the middle of the night, or text messaging with someone you don’t know, isn’t cold evidence of an affair. Don’t jump to any conclusion and don’t start pointing fingers because you can destroy your relationship with no reason. Nothing is more damaging to a partnership than one of the spouses constantly questioning the other’s faithfulness.

You may have noticed changes in your partner’s behaviour, like they are more secretive about the people they befriend, so you think it’s the moment to find out what caused this change. Even if spying sounds like an extreme measure, in some cases, it’s the only way to find out if they are infidel. Check for red flags, like receipts for things you are not aware of, constant calls to a certain number and meetings with someone you don’t know.

What are the clues your spouse is having an affair?

Jealousy can make you imagine things, so you need to ensure your emotions don’t control your actions. If you think your partner’s behaviour changed without reasonable explanation, you need to look for clues of their hidden actions.

Affairs often take time. Most of the people commit to another relationship while they are married, so you can find clues that point to their infidelity. Few people prefer one-night-stands when it comes to cheating. So, if your partner is constantly out of contact and they have no explanation or they get angry when you ask them, it may point to a troubling situation.

Infidelity is expensive. When someone becomes emotionally involved with someone else than their partner, they start spending more money than they used to do. They pay gifts, hotel rooms and dinners, so it’s easy to track money. However, missing money isn’t always a sign of infidelity, it can also point to drinking, gambling, and pornography.

Affairs also involve an emotional connection to another person, so your partner can reduce the closeness or increase the emotional interaction. Why do they increase the emotional connection? Because at first, involvement with someone new boosts all emotions. It also causes guilt. As the connection with the other person becomes stronger, you’ll notice that the distance between you two grows, and kisses, hugs and tender phrases are no longer comfortable actions for them.

So, if you are looking for indicators of a problem, you should focus on money, affection and time.

Talk to your partner

Even if you find hard to do it, you should try to talk with your partner about your suspicions. Ensure that you are calm, reasonable and rational during the conversation because you are bringing an offensive issue that can put your partner in a defensive frame of mind. The purpose of the discussion is to obtain their confession.

The information your partner provides can help you save your marriage or get a divorce. You decide what you want to do. What they tell you during this conversation can help you rebuild your connection or break up. You need to be rational when they provide the information to ensure you clearly understand their message.

Be mindful of your feelings

Finding that your partner is having an affair can cause a range of contradictory emotions. You will feel surprised, angry, sad, depressed, anxious, revengeful and lonely. This news will shock and frustrate you, and it’s best to look for support. Counselling is always helpful in this case. A counsellor can help you understand your feelings and deal with them.

Many people blame themselves for their partner’s infidelity, but you have no reason to do it. A professional can help you understand that none of your actions could lead to this. Acknowledge your feelings and let them have their moment. It’s important to experience the entire range of emotions if you want to heal. Let your feelings work their way out so they will don’t have the power to threaten your rationality.

Build a support network

Your partner’s affair is an emotional blow in your life, so you need to surround yourself with people who love and support you. You need a network of people who can share time with you and help you cope with the consequences of your partner’s actions. You need to talk with someone you trust about the situation you are dealing with, and express your negative emotions.

However, you should be modest with who you decide to share your partner’s infidelity because not anyone is willing to listen to it. A counsellor and a few friends are the support system you need to navigate this emotional time.

Don’t make rash decisions

Don’t let your negative feelings to decide what you’ll do. Just like you are cautious with the people you share your story with, so too should you be with the state of the relationship. Depending on the situation, you may already know what you want to do, but you should take time to understand what you feel before you share your decisions with your partner.

Cheating can be a deal-breaker in some cases and you’ll immediately know that the relationship is over.

However, sometimes infidelity isn’t a black-an-white thing and you need to decide if it will influence your long-term relationship.

Whatever you decide, the above recommendations will help you deal with the hurtful episode you are dealing with.

About the Author

Cynthia Madison is a young blogger and economics and marketing graduate. She writes about home, lifestyle and family topics and is a senior contributor to popular niche publications.

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Author: Cynthia Madison
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Cynthia Madison

Member since: Jun 30, 2017
Published articles: 84

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