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How neediness subconsciously pushes men away

Author: Justine Mfulama
by Justine Mfulama
Posted: Aug 18, 2020

One of the most common reasons why a man is turned off by a woman is because she appears to be needy and clingy.

A woman that is needy will oftentimes be desperate for attention and love to the point that she ignores her own needs and puts his well-being over her own.

Secondly, she will oftentimes display behaviors such as jealousy, insecurity and control. These behaviors make her emotionally dependent on the man she is dating that they take a toll on the relationship.

Moreover, it often manifests by your need to please, constantly chasing after him and trying to convince him of your value.

When you cling to a man and always look to him to fulfill you and be the one to make you happy it shows that you don’t have fulfillment outside of a man.

This will lead to you not feeling complete without him and asking too much of a guy, which in turn puts pressure on him to be the source of your happiness.

And this behavior pushes him away.

Men can smell a woman that is clingy and needy a mile away and will either take advantage of that and manipulate her to their advantage or run from away as fast as possible.

The reason for that is because he sees neediness as a lack of self-love and self-respect and therefore is turned off.

When a woman doubts her own worth, he starts to question it as well and subconsciously starts looking for a woman that is confident in herself and offers him a challenge.

He will crave space and desire a woman that is more independent and knows how to have her own identity and create her own happiness.

Because the truth is a high-value man wants to be with a woman who is whole and not afraid to ask for what she wants. He does not want a woman who behaves like a doormat out of fear of losing him.

A lot of times that fear is rooted in the fear of abandonment, which is a form of anxiety. Abandonment issues often appear over the course of our lives and are triggeres when we experience the loss of a loved one, maybe as a child, maybe in a past relationship.

So, how can you fix neediness and become the type of woman a man desires?

Identify your triggers

Learn how to identify the emotions or situations that trigger your anxiety and come up with healthy coping mechanisms. For example, you can distract yourself by being physically active, which has the added bonus of releasing endorphins that will make you feel better. Or you can plan in time with friends and family which will give you a sense of connection and safety.

By avoiding situations that trigger your anxiety and instead of engaging in activities that are healthy for you, you learn to feel more secure and confident in yourself which will improve your self-esteem.

For more on how to overcome neediness in dating, visit:

About the Author

Hi, I'm Justine Mfulama, a dating and relationship coach. I love to share my advice on everything love and look forward to contribute on here.

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Author: Justine Mfulama
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Justine Mfulama

Member since: Oct 06, 2019
Published articles: 6

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