Quarter life crisis

If you are in your mid-20s or 30s you may already know what I’m talking about. The feeling of being lost and not knowing what to do with your life. Even though you have a job and a decent income, you feel trapped in a life that doesn’t feel right. You constantly wonder if this is "it" and reassess your career and relationships.

While comparing your achievements to those of your most successful friends you feel like you aren’t where you want to be. When you aim to get to the bottom of the problem you are overwhelmed with the choices and stressed out by the possibility of failing.

Welcome to your quarter-life crisis.

This period of intense soul-searching is widely spread among young adults and affects many of us. Those of us that suffer from it the most are usually described as "ambitious, goal-oriented, and with strong ideals" says Dr. Robinson from the University of Greenwich. But why does it more feel like a burden than a blessing?

Whilst you experience a lot of dissatisfaction and confusion during this stage of life it is also an opportunity to soar. A chance to evaluate achievements, change your current situation, and improve your well-being.

Shift your mind

It is good to pursue your dream and work towards your goals. However, it is up to you to decide how much power this dream has over you. Does it occupy your every thought? Did you build your entire life around it? If yes, then it’s time to shift your mind and find a healthy balance between achieving and enjoying. Take the time to stop worrying about the future and reflect on the past. Don’t be so busy producing a life, that you miss your life.

Turn your fears into motivation

One of the benefits of fear is that it releases a hormone nicknamed fight-or-flight adrenaline. This type of adrenaline signals our brains that there is a challenge ahead of us. Suddenly we can think on our feet and push ourselves a little harder. A quarter-life crisis does the same. It’s a wake-up call in disguise that alerts your mind that it’s time to react to a situation that poses a risk to your dreams. It’s up to you to use it as a motivation to change something rather than to let your fears paralyze you with depression and hopelessness. By taking a leap of faith and aligning your life with your dreams your fears become your motivation.

Become the You, you always wanted to be

Almost as a side effect, this cruel and unapologetic stage of life has one long-lasting impact. It increases awareness of who you are and what you want or to be correct about what you don’t want. Just like the great recession, your quarter-life-crisis causes you to be more creative, make tough decisions, and put yourself first. Suddenly, a year abroad, an online business or another degree don’t seem risky, but right. It is your chance to be authentically you.

Live, don’t just go through the motions

I hate to break it to you, but life is not a walk in the park. More often than not, you will be stressed, drained, and exhausted from the challenges life keeps throwing at you. But you know what? The opposite of having a great life is to settle for a good life. A life where you seek convenience and ease above taking chances. If you get through this you will have changed as a person, matured as a human being, and birthed something greater.

Your quarter-life crisis won’t make or break you, but it will encourage you to choose a life that is worth the struggle. Remember that you should never compare your path to someone else's. For more information on how to avoid the comparison trap, check out this article: https://www.justinemfulama.com/single/stop-comparing-yourself-to-others/

Hi, I'm Justine Mfulama, a dating and relationship coach. I love to share my advice on everything love and look forward to contribute on here.