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How to Sleep Better After the Divorce

Author: Lillian Connors
by Lillian Connors
Posted: Mar 12, 2021

Are you having sleepless nights after a messy divorce? Studies show that divorce or separation can lead to poor health and even shorter average lifespans, according to the National Institutes of Health. I know that stress and anxiety can also make you feel like you’re alone in the world.

The snowball effect can then lead to sleepless nights. You might wake up in the middle of the night worrying about issues like money matters, child care, or even why your partner would even want to untie the knot in the first place. These steps can help you get back to sleep:

Tip #1: Avoid All News after 7 PM

A recent study showed that 90% of news Americans hear is negative news. Dealing with a divorce can be tough enough, so filling your mind with bad vibes can make the situation worse. A good alternative is media outlets with just "happy news."

You should also consider switching off PCs, tablets, and smartphones at least one hour before bedtime. The LED screens have tiny bright lights that can keep you up at night. Do you really want more time to think about your recent or ongoing divorce?

How to Stay Positive No Matter What

Tip #2: Do Some Basic Exercises

You should probably avoid stuff like powerlifting and triathlons right before bedtime. Some better options include basic exercises like:

  • Breathing exercises

  • Relaxing your body

  • Light stretching

  • Meditation or yoga poses

  • Visualizing peaceful places

Tip #3: Help Your Kids Have a Sleeping Schedule and Environment

Divorces can also be tough for your kids. They’re suddenly in a one-parent home and might not fully understand why mommy and daddy aren’t living together.

Two Parents/One Bedtime

You can help by making sure your kiddo(s) follows a bedtime schedule. This is part of something known as "sleep hygiene" that also includes the sleep environment.

Make sure both parents maintain a similar bedtime. The reason is your kid might argue that your ex-partner let him/her stay up later (maybe midnight). A regular bedtime can also help with the child’s "circadian rhythms" (internal clock).

The bedtime schedule can include other things like cleaning the bedroom, light snacks and brushing teeth.

Duplicate Stuff

You can also make sure your child has duplicates of some of their favorite bedtime stuff at both homes, including:

  • Toys

  • Books

  • Music

Tip #4 Schedule a Psychologist Appointment

This step can help with any tough divorce-related issues you’re dealing with, along with sleep problems. Talking to a mental health expert allows you to share your thoughts and emotions. A trusted professional can then provide some advice about how to address your negative feelings.

Psychologists often use the technique known as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). This helps to "rewire" the brain, so the patient starts using positive thought patterns.

This process of talking with a psychologist can help to deal with the stress and anxieties you’re experiencing. What’s the big deal? That might then help you sleep better. Studies show that bottling up emotions can make it tougher to relax.

Tip #5 Deal with Divorce-related Sleep Problems ASAP

A recent sleep study by the University of Arizona found that continuous post-divorce sleep problems could result in high blood pressure.

Researchers explain that sleeping problems following a divorcee often happen after a few months. Before that time divorcees tend to cope well.

Here’s what happens. Over time this can turn into sleep disorders like insomnia. It can also result in other health conditions, including depression and hypertension. After observing long-term sleeping problems or high blood pressure, take steps like consulting experts and check our puffy mattress review which is highly recommended if you are experiencing such issues.

The Psychology of Divorce

Tip #6 Follow Some Basic Sleep-friendly Tips and Tricks
  • Remember that a nightmare isn’t reality

  • Write down your thoughts in a journal

  • Avoid eating heavy meals near bedtime

  • Do light exercise an hour before sleeping

  • Create a dark, quiet, and cool bedroom

  • Get a full 7-8 hours of sleep every night

  • Use self-messages for a racing mind


It might seem that insomnia is a requirement of divorce. Sure, this can be a tough life event. Try to process your thoughts, take a deep breath, and consider the selection of your mattress. Always remember that regardless of how unbearably difficult things are, "this too shall pass." When your life gets back on track, so will your sleep!

About the Author

Lillian Connors is a Senior Content Developer at Act-Enviro, with years of experience in developing content. Throughout her career, she always looked for ways to contribute to the environment in recycling efforts.

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Author: Lillian Connors

Lillian Connors

Member since: Jan 21, 2021
Published articles: 2

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