Priya Wanted To Live-In With Her Partner Before She Married Him

Nitin and Mina’s daughter Priya just turned 27. Priya was celebrating her second birthday staying home thanks to the pandemic. Priya was inundated with calls to wish her the best but every call asked her about her relationship status. After receiving birthday wishes, the next sentence asked by all who were wishing her included the following sentences

• You are 27 years, what plans for marriage
• Are you dating or in a relationship?
• Have you signed on any Indian dating app
• Your parents must be looking for a boy for you
• Aha you are 27, when are we being invited to your marriage

While Priya was open to meeting someone, she was open to signing up on an online matchmaking service but she could not understand why all her family and her friends asked about her plans to get married. She could understand the family’s concern or curiousness, but found it odd when her friends asking the same because she had never asked them ever their plans to marry, and she had single friends in both their mid to late 20s and early to mid 30s. Priya could not understand the obsession around the fact around marriage and it is not that she did not believe in it, she very much did and wanted to marry.

A little bit about Priya, her parents lived in a city which had finest schools and colleges and she worked hard to study in them. She got a job in another city but was working from home since last 2 years because of pandemic, but with things opening up, she was going to move to the new city soon and was super excited about the fact. Basically for 27 years she always lived with her parents and now she wanted to live alone, independently to know herself better, to know what she wants from her relationship and from life in general, because till now all her needs were being fulfilled at her parents home.

Not only was Priya keen on living away from home, she was keen in meeting someone for a relationship, something fun but not casual, something to start as friends and then long term maybe. She also knew that she wanted to get into a long term relationship but wanted to start it with companionship where they both lived in their own homes and in time try livingin and post that a marriage. She knew that if the introduction happened via the family route then she would not be able to extend the courtship as she wanted, besides when families get involved all the responsibility comes in and for now she wanted a relationship without any responsibility. Her long-term serious relationship she wanted to try for 7-9 months post which get married.

Priya had never signed up on any Indian dating apps and her girlfriends did not have anything much to say about them, more so because she was not seeking something casual. It was then one of her aunts told her about andwemet an online dating service for single Indians who are conscious and are fine for things to go slow vs the mindless swipe culture. Given andwemet was not that well known she signed up on Bumble but could not handle the pressure of swiping and gave in and signed up on andwemet and today after over 5 months she has met someone who she thinks she will like to know for longer. At the same time Priya has moved into the work city, has a small apartment in the city center close to work and is enjoying knowing herself better.

Unfortunately, culturally among Indians, emotionally abusive behavior is normalised by both victim and abuser, as well as their family and friends.