Stop Seeking Validation From Everyone

Seeking validation from others to a limited extent is acceptable. This is an integral element of the sense of belongingness a person experiences in interactions with their family and society.

During significant occasions like securing a job or buying a home, we always like to share happiness with our social circle. The praises and compliments strengthen our bonds with people. However, a serious problem arises when an individual is continuously obsessed with seeking validation from others. This is something that has to be stopped for the overall well-being.

Over-dependence on external validation – Signs

Generally, a person who lacks self-esteem is heavily dependent on external validation. This low level of self-esteem results from many factors such as not receiving sufficient affection and encouragement as a child. A constant seeker of validation from others displays some signs that cannot be missed.

• They strive to achieve more than what is simply required to make others happy.
• They are incapable of making decisions when there is no guidance from others.
• They avoid disagreeing with others because they are excessively worried about abandonment and rejection.
• When people in the vicinity do not give them attention, they tend to get emotionally disturbed.
• They always crave sympathy from others, and for this purpose, they tend to fabricate non-existent problems and circumstances. They play the ‘victim card.’

Stop seeking validation from others – Tips

As already mentioned, seeking validation in situations genuinely warranting it is perfectly normal. But things can go wrong if an individual incessantly desires external validation. Their susceptibility to psychological disorders such as depression and anxiety escalates. The feeling of low self-esteem plummets further. Thus, steps must be initiated to check this tendency to the maximum possible extent.

• Firstly, an individual must be constantly aware of their actions and the corresponding results. This awareness will make it easier to notice any improvements, which, in turn, will boost their self-esteem, reducing the need to incessantly seek validation from others.
• If people practice techniques like mindfulness meditation, they can keep their emotions balanced. Additionally, this form of meditation helps individuals recognize their own worth. As a result, they will be better equipped to make decisions that align with their goals, no longer feeling bound by the need for validation from others.
• One has to discard the habit of trying to make people happy. It has to be understood that "people-pleasing" is almost impossible to achieve. Someone or the other always has complaints against you, regardless of how good you are. It’s equally relevant that a person begins to politely refuse requests, which could cause some inconvenience to them. If people become judgmental, it is their problem. That does not reflect your worthiness.
• We should stop comparing ourselves with others, and feel that we are inferior. The circumstances in each person’s life are different. Hence, what works for others might not be appropriate for you. Assess your worth only in relation to situations specific to your life and how you are handling them.
• Drastically cut down social media consumption. On these platforms, people present a sugar-coated version of themselves filtering out all the negative aspects. People who want validation from others often become much more depressed upon seeing all that. They feel that everyone else, except for them, is having a fulfilling life.

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