4 Easy Ways to Make Your Bridesmaids Totally Miserable

Assuming you don’t have a, say, a household staff to shout orders to, adopting a few bridesmaids for your wedding day is a great opportunity to throw your weight around. Heck, make it an even dozen. The more the merrier, right? It’s YOUR year*, after all. Here are four easy ways to make the most of it.

*I’m kidding, of course. Brides, you get a day. ONE day.

1. Go Hard With the DIY Projects.

Why have hand-whittled coasters as favors or ceremony programs calligraphed on butterfly wings? Why NOT, when you have a group of girls to execute all your DIY dreams on demand? Just think of all the money you’ll save by having them orchestrate a potluck wedding reception. Caterer, schmaterer.

Or, maybe take it easy on the DIY—at least as far as your bridesmaids are concerned. It’s fine if you want to make all of your wedding flowers from paper {ahem! } but make any projects optional for bridesmaids. And if they are kind enough to help, be overly gracious. Ply them with drinks and snacks and give profuse thanks.

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2. Ignore Their Budgets.

You only get married once, so you deserve the a destination bachelorette and a fancy bridal shower. You also deserve to have the girls standing by your side looking A++: designer dresses, pro hair and makeup, and matching shoes. (Even if the dresses are floor-length, because #breezes.) And don’t be stingy with the gifts, ladies.

On the other hand, maybe your bridesmaids aren’t independently wealthy. (So lame, I know.) Maybe your BFFs are just out of college or are in five other weddings this year—or maybe they just don’t want to spend a small fortune to watch you swap vows. Be up front about anything major expenses. Let them know about how much the bridesmaid dress will cost (plus the cost shoes, hair, makeup, and anything else you’ll expect them to pay for) and whether they’ll need to book a hotel stay.

3. Be a Control Freak.

Yes, they’re technically "in charge" of the bridal shower and the bachelorette party, but they’re YOUR parties. And if you don’t want paper napkins or your future husband’s weird aunt on the guest list, well, that’s your business. Plus, can those girls really be trusted to pick a venue? I mean, three of them posted Instagram shots from a group outing to Olive Garden last week.

Except, wait, never-ending breadsticks and glasses of wine the size of your head are both pretty awesome. Also, the guest of honor doesn’t get to dictate the details of a party that’s being thrown in her honor, so back off. You have enough on your plate {Like, um, a wedding. And those breadsticks. } so trust that your very closest friends can plan celebrations that you’ll love. If you’re really not confident in their party-planning abilities, the one thing you can tastefully do is tell them that you’d rather skip the parties altogether

4. Pit Them Against Each Other.

Sure you love your childhood best friends and your sorority sisters dearly—that’s why you asked them all to be in your wedding party. But you have to vent to one when "Becky’s being SUCH A B*TCH" or let a couple know ahead of time who the "cheapskate" bridesmaids are. And, "Does Rachel really need TWO scoops of ice cream? HELLO! Strapless bridesmaid dresses."

Hey, you. Shut yo’ mouth. The only thing these girls might have in common is you, so don’t alienate anyone or give them ammo for in-fighting. Play up what they have in common—whether it’s Magic Mike watching or sandal hoarding or red wine drinking. Sure, some of your friends might have flaws—but last time we checked, so do you. (And everyone needs two scoops of ice cream

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