Does Divorce Help Adults Become Happier?

Everyone except the very young or very dull has felt the pain ofbreaking up with someone they love at some point in their lives.Grief, whether it is at the end of a relationship because theyslammed the door on their way out of a relationship or wereaccidentally squished by a bus on the way to the post office hasexactly the same effect of the psyche of those left behind. We all gothrough stages of denial, anger, negotiation, depression andacceptance.Not everyone goes through these stages at the same rate (it‟sestimated that it can take someone half the length of a seriousrelationship to get over it so if you were married for fifteen yearsthe emotional effects are likely to live on for another seven or eightyears, and seriously impact on your next relationship(s).Sometimes you can experience two or three stages at once;sometimes you barely experience a stage at all. If a new traumacomes along to awaken old wounds you can go back to an earlierpoint on your emotional journey. You can get stuck at one of thestages (and if that‟s happened for any length of time then it‟s timeto call in the professionals to help you gain some perspective,seriously - pick up the phone and dial for a counselor).

STAGE OF GRIEFTYPICAL BEHAVIORA. DENIALTHE IT‟S NOT HAPPENING STAGE.

If you are going through a split this can be denial that your partnerwants to leave you or a belief that they will change their mind, asthey can‟t really mean it. Ok so they called you every name underthe sun on their way out of the door but after all they loved you forall that time, they must still love you really, no really, deep downthey do even if they don‟t realize it.

B. ANGER OR WHY ME!!!!!!! STAGE

You are angry at the world, angry at the situation even if you werethe one to walk away, angry on behalf of the others who were hurtby your or your partner‟s actions.

C. NEGOTIATIONCAN I PLEA BARGAIN MY WAY OUT OF THIS?

If I‟m a nicer, more desirable, funnier person will s/he recognizethat and come back? Can I possibly hang on to the dregs of thisrelationship; surely I can salvage something here? (Well that‟s yourdignity straight out of the window then).

D. DEPRESSIONIT‟S REAL AND I CAN‟T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

The reality hits home and so does the misery. This is when thedepression can strike, when alcohol and other dependentbehaviours can take hold, and Prozac seems like a lifesaver. At thispoint there is nothing left to lose.

E. ACCEPTANCEITS OVER – NOW WHO AM I And has anyone seen where I last left my life?So what has this to do with a second wife? Well it‟s not good news.Men and Women do not work their way through these stages at thesame rate but even if you were the one to call time on therelationship you will still go through all of these (and you may havea huge dollop of guilt to deal with as well).Your new partner may not have dealt with all his issues beforeembarking on a new relationship. Chances are a woman will bejust starting to get her head around the grief of a split when herformer partner has gone through all the stages and launched onhis next relationship. If you are the woman next in line when yourpartner‟s former wife is working her way through one of thosestages then all that ugly raw emotion is going to be turned directlyon you.

Learn More: https://www.thedivorcelawfirm.in/pdf/Get-Out-of-Depression.pdf

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