Dealing With Your Own Interpersonal Conflict At Work

Project management involves working with lots of different sorts of people; clients, stakeholders, senior executives, IT staff, project team members – the list really can be endless. Ith so many different people and departments involved in major projects this can sometimes (in fact, very often) result in conflict between colleagues, team members or other people working closely together. As a project manager you are meant to be calm, collected and be the person that resolves conflicts, however, that simply isn't always the case.

A project manager is only human and it is likely you will find yourself in a position at work at some point where no amount of professional project management training or understanding of PM methodologiessuch as Pmp, PRINCE2 or APMP can help you with a conflict you are having with another person. It may be a difference in opinions about how a project should proceed, it may simply be a clash in personalities - all you need to know is how to get through it without it affecting both your emotional state and your job.

Here are some basic tips to help you with your own interpersonal conflict at work:

Don't Be Bitchy

When people get under your skin, it can be all too easy to become bitchy and fall prey to the gossips eager to hear your scathing opinions of others. Quite simply - don't do it. Keep your venom out of work and save bitching for beers after work on a Friday, with friends who aren't related to the company you work for. Everyone has to vent, but you are in a senior position of authority. If the bitchy words spoken by you have found their way back to the person on the receiving end, you may find yourself in hot water, or simply looking like a crappy person. And even if your bitchiness stays with the person you spoke to, it's not exactly going to make you look like a nice person to them. And who knows, they could end up being your colleague, team member or manager one day, and they won't forget how you deal with conflict.

Don't Be Negative

If someone is being really difficult, it can be easy to form a witch hunt against them in your own head. They have a personal vendetta against you, they say everything as a direct hit at you, they aren't compromising on deadlines because they think you're a moron. If you're thinking like this - where has your confidence gone? You must start thinking positively about the other person involved and use your emotional intelligence to think about how they must be feeling. It takes guts to drop your own opinions and feelings and think about someone else, but this is the perfect scenario for you to exhibit those skills and be the bigger person.

Don't Be A Baby

You're in the big leagues now, you're not in play school any more. Project managers are in the position they are in because they have something special, something really special which enables them to do about a million things at once, whilst keeping everyone happy, working within tight budgets and deadlines and balancing a personal life too. And with great power comes great responsibility - not being a baby. You're an adult and interpersonal conflicts should not be an issue for you, they should be an opportunity just like everything else. So see this conflict as a chance to grow, learn and improve.

Set A Good Example

We teach kids to say sorry when they have done something wrong, and to be honest and communicate problems so they get resolved. And yet, as adults, it's like we suddenly get permission to forget all those basic skills and behave badly. Well, in this situation your team are like your kids, which means you need to set a good example. So use your soft skills, emotional intelligence, communication skills and conflict resolution taught to you in your project management training and show exactly how bad tempers, disagreements and general friction can be resolved.

If All Else Fails

Seek advice from someone you know and trust. Don't go to them being bitchy or mean about the person you're having conflict with, simply explain that you're having friction and don't know how best to approach it. It takes a pretty brave person to admit when they are out of their depth and don't know what to do. So if you have exhausted all thoughts and skills and find you're still struggling with a conflict, go to a mentor, senior manager or trusted colleague and seek advice - there will be a way to resolve it.

The author has written and published articles on a wide range of topics including Small Business Advice, Tax and Accounting, Interior Design, House Renovation and Project Management.