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How to Start a Conversation With Women

Author: Jasper Avila
by Jasper Avila
Posted: Oct 11, 2013

A lot of guys have a hard time figuring out how to talk to a woman, and even more have a harder time knowing how to get the conversation off the ground in the first place. If you are confused about how to handle these problems we will try to help you out. Here are some suggestions, ideas and guidelines that will help you in your endeavors to communicate effectively with the opposite sex.

There are many things that can work together to make you succeed in your effort to start a conversation with a woman, but the number one issue that you need to address is your self-confidence level. This cannot be stressed enough, but unfortunately this is also the hardest step for many men. A woman is not going to want to be around a guy that feels, acts, and talks like a loser. Self-deprecating humor can work later on in a developed relationship, but not when you first meet. You need to be confident and direct, but at the same time avoid being a jerk.

After you have worked on your confidence the next step is to approach the conversation in a casual manner. Everything about your body language will have an impact on your ability to strike up a conversation with her. If your confidence is at the right level then you will find it easy to approach her like she was just one of your male friends. If you look at it from this angle your level of stress and fear will fall, your confidence level as an "alpha male" will be quite predominate, and you will find yourself more relaxed and capable to converse in a natural way. This makes you more interesting to the woman and she will want to talk.

One problem that many men experience in this arena is that they have such high expectations that they don't stop to think that a simple "Hi, how are you?" is enough to get things going. A friendly smile, a nice handshake, and a warm, relaxed tone to your voice will go a long way to opening up a conversation. But don't have your expectations so high that you feel like you need to be charming, witty and funny. If you do, then you will only come off looking like a dork, or even worse, like a jerk. A simple, friendly, relaxed demeanor will set her mind at ease and make her more willing to talk. Make yourself the prize, and she will come after you, but grovel and she will lose interest quickly.

If you have approached a woman and have found that nothing you do is working, it's time to move on. Some men are keen on the "thrill of the hunt", and while persistence can be beneficial, it can also be downright creepy if it isn't executed the right way. Women are far more sensitive to "creepiness" nowadays than in the past. Forty years ago you could have a woman swooning if you sang a song outside her window, but try that today and you will find her calling the cops. Persistence is best left used on those women whom you already know and have spent time with. Persistence on the hot girl in the corner is just going to make you look needy. So, if you find that she isn't responding to a friendly chat, just excuse yourself and walk away nonchalantly. Sometimes that is enough to pique her interest because you are acting with greater confidence and she may come after you and talk to you later.

After having succeeded in talking to a woman one of the hardest things a man has to do is to keep the conversation going. Most men aren't good at off-the-cuff conversation, so the most practical solution is actually one that will score you more points with the woman: ask her to talk about herself. We're not talking about finding out her entire life story, we only mean to ask her to describe what she likes, what she is interested in, what she likes in a man, what she likes to do on an average weekend, etc... Once she begins to talk about herself and her interests it will spark additional lines of thought in your mind, and it will cause her to reciprocate by asking you to talk about yourself and your interests. If this is a worry for you then before leaving home make sure you have some answers in mind. Practice what you will say and how you will say it, but don't obsess about it. You only want to sound coherent, not rehearsed.

It's important to take charge of what you want. While many people will tell you to just be yourself this is actually very poor advice because it won't get you any attention. It won't make it easier to talk, and women won't find you interesting. You need to take charge of a situation, and one of the ways to do that is to prepare in advance, have self-confidence, know what you want, and then go after it. Picture yourself as a success, figure out how to achieve it, and then go do it. If you fail the first few times just get up, dust yourself off, and go try again. If you find yourself failing repeatedly then it is time to change things up a bit, and go try something different. Don't deliberately try to impress a woman, but instead take charge, be confident, and go after it. She will find you much more interesting.

In order to perfect anything in life you have to practice, and practice frequently. In time, you will find that it is becoming easier to talk to women, with conversations lasting longer, and more opportunities for relationships opening up. Have confidence in yourself, in the woman that you are approaching, talk naturally, and you will be a success in no time flat.

David Kwan is widely regarded as one of the most respected & foremost Dating & Relationship Publisher. He is the creator behind many of the internationally renowned best-selling dating Programs: Friend Into Girlfriend Secrets, Bullet Proof Seduction Secrets, Women Persuasion Secrets, and many more.

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Author: Jasper Avila

Jasper Avila

Member since: Aug 11, 2013
Published articles: 185

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