Love of money: which will you choose?

Is it better to marry for love or money? That's a question that can incite all kinds of heated debate, but most people are pretty evenly split on where they stand. Traditionally, arranged marriages were based solely on money and alliances with powerful families. Love was a fanciful notion that was romanticized during the Elizabethan era. Knights became associated with chivalry and love, and that is when the concept of marrying for love began to take hold. However, it seems that more people in today's society are interested in marrying not only for love, but also for money.

Credit Score Dating

There is still a distinct line between "gold digging" (those who seek partnerships with wealthy individuals so they can enjoy the benefits of being wealthy without doing the work), and those who seek relationships with financially like-minded individuals. Marrying someone with bad credit can have a major impact on life together, so it is natural for people to want to date those who have similar financial views as themselves. Credit score dating is a concept that has recently evolved. This is when two people discuss their credit scores before deciding to enter into a relationship with one another. According to a recent study, financial responsibility has become the number one indicator on the attraction scale for women, beating out looks, sexual compatibility, and career opportunities. Although men still maintain that physical looks are the most important trait, financial responsibility rates an extremely close second.

Questions of Ethics

Many people question the ethics and appropriateness of requesting their partner have a good credit score. After all, bad things happen to good people, and a credit score is not indicative of a person's entire future. Although that is true, more and more people do a credit score check before considering a potential mate. If you look at the situation from an objective point of view, it makes sense. The leading cause of divorce in the United States is financial issues. However, marrying for money, in this sense, does not mean that people are choosing partners who are financially well off. Rather, they are choosing partners who have aligned financial values. For example, this might mean that both partners are interested in saving for retirement, rather than one being a spender and the other being a saver. The question of ethics most often comes up when one party or the other doesn't feel romantic love for the other person, but feels a relationship or marriage would be worthwhile because of money. However, as long as both parties have discussed the situation and are on the same page, then there are no ethical concerns.

Marriage is Like a Business

Love and faithfulness are, certainly, good qualities to have in a marriage and that is typically not in dispute by the camp who choose to marry for money. However, they believe that marriage is a like a business. Unless both employees buy into the vision of the business, and put forth their time and effort to make it work, that business could fail. Since personal finance issues are the number one cause of divorce in the United States, it makes sense to align with someone who has similar values. This does not mean that making a ton of money is important, although for some it might be. This does not mean that people are seeking partners who are already financially well off. This means they are seeking partners who have similar goals, vision, and drive to make their life together the best it can be. Sometimes it's not the money that makes a business successful. Sometimes it's about the partners working together, even when it's difficult. Sometimes it's about giving back. Sometimes it's about achieving a sense of accomplishment through the everyday struggles, and coming out together on the other side because of aligned goals.

Saying that people have to choose between love and money is often a misnomer. It implies that if one chooses love they will not have money, and if they choose money they will not have love. This is not true in most cases, although, as with anything, there are exceptions. Typically, credit score dating refers to the practice of dating someone with good credit because their financial goals are in alignment with your own. Good credit also indicates a person is responsible and trustworthy, which are excellent qualities in a life partner. It is better to choose partners who have similar goals to ensure that divorce isn't just around the corner from your marriage.

Joy Mali is an active finance blogger who is fond of sharing interesting finance management tips to encourage people to manage their personal finances. More specifically, she advocates that people should check credit reports and scores regularly.