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Seven Dad Hacks Every Father Needs to Know

Author: Damien Justus
by Damien Justus
Posted: Jul 06, 2018
use restroom

Being a father is a challenging, yet rewarding full-time job. Your friends, family members, and cousins warned about the challenging journey we call fatherhood. Having kids can turn your world upside down. Kids come at you like untamed gypsies, filling the room will an array of odd scents. Everytime you step outside your front door, you and your wife are congratulated and told you will never experience a peaceful night ever again.

Cleaning up baby spit-up and nearly spraining your ankle tripping over a children's toy is a given. But there are several other terrifying things about being a dad. To help you out, I have compiled a list of seven dad hacks every father should know. Will these life hacks work 100% of the time? Well, you will never know if you don't try. That is what being a parent is all about, right? As a parent, you try different solutions until you find one that works.

Without further ado, here is my list:

1. "Help! My kids keeping changing up my Spotify account!"

So, you introduced your kids to music, and now they won't stop requesting new tunes. Music is beneficial to both you and your kids because one, it helps to relax the mind, and two, it keeps kids quiet. Now that your child has created their playlist, all you hear throughout the day is the Star Wars theme song on a continuous loop.

Solution: Upgrade to a family account. For just $5 extra a month, you can have five separate accounts that do not affect one another. Just be aware, that each account requires an email invite. I know what you are probably thinking, "Seriously Spotify, what kind of shitty design is this? I have to spend extra time scrolling through my junk mail accounts to set up a playlist for my kids and wife." Clearly, Spotify has not put much thought into the painstaking labor that is required to activate accounts.

2. "Why am I always on the road!"

Sports and extracurricular activities help your child blossom and figure out what kind of person they want to be. So, what's the problem? Well, it could take your child several years to finally find a hobby they enjoy. Children like to try as many sports, instruments, and other competitive activities as possible. They want to be in with the cool kids. These activities can cost you your personal freedom and thousands of dollars. You could rely on a friend or parent to help chauffeur your kids around to their various activities. But be warned, it won't work out very often. Carpooling requires a lot of planning and often, it isn't worth the effort.

Solution: Limit your children to one sport or extracurricular activity a year. Everyone needs to calm down. Nothing good can come out of trying to manage more activities than your friends with kids do.

3. "I have the lost the ability to use the restroom in peace, in my one home!"

Almost every time you feel the need to pass a bowel movement, a kid is asking you for a favor. You excuse yourself to use the restroom, and as soon as you slide your arse onto the cold toilet seat, you hear children running around screaming and throwing stuff at each other.

Solution: Relieve yourself outside of your home. Some people do not feel comfortable pooping outside of their home. Once you become a father, that can change. If a facility has a seat and a hole, use it.

4. "My kids are going to get me sick!"

When I was a young man, I rarely washed my hands, ate expired food, and shared drinks with my friends. Did I get sick? No, not very often. Now that I have kids, I take one deep breath in the same room as my child, and I get knocked out by norovirus.

Solution: Never share food with your children. If your child offers you a bite of their food, kindly accept it, and then throw it in the trash when they aren't looking. Health expert and motivational speaker Jordan Rubin('s) has a lot of great advice for battling illnesses and diseases.

5. "What kind of math is this? I don't understand my child's homework!"

Teachers are frequently changing how they teach kids how to solve math problems. I take one look at my school-aged child's homework, and it feels like I am looking at a foreign language. There is nothing more frustrating than trying to help your confused child solve a math problem when you are equally confused.

Solution: Send the kid and his homework to mom. You may get a few dirty looks, but wish her luck, and finish that beer.

6. "I am running out of ideas to keep my children entertained!"

Children have a short attention span. They always need something new to keep them entertained, or they become restless. Every single day the kids are off of school there is always a struggle to locate an activity that is cost-effective, entertaining, and time-consuming.

Solution: Pick a warm area to live. Cold climate zones are no fun. When its warm, kids can play outside without needing four extra layers of clothing.

7. "Help! I am surrounded by other disrespectful kids and the other parents who are clueless!"

The cold hard truth is that you can do everything right for your kids and give them all your love, and they can still end up in a dangerous place. This is because other parents can not control their bratty kids who will turn your child into a spoiled brat.

Solution: Keep your kids away from spoiled children. Will this always work? Absolutely not. Your kid will always find someone that they like to hang out with that you despise. Why not move to another country? Surely you have seen what a disaster this country is.

About the Author

Damien Justus writes in the business, home improvement and real estate spaces, and is very passionate about health, cooking, diet plans and anything that has to do with staying fit.

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Author: Damien Justus

Damien Justus

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United States

Member since: Nov 07, 2017
Total live articles: 38

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