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3 Reasons Why Pre-Marriage Counseling Helps

Author: Marci Stiles
by Marci Stiles
Posted: Oct 16, 2018

The dynamics of your relationship can change after marriage: there can be unspoken expectations of married life, and setting up a home together can bring about unforeseen stresses that were never there before

Let's face it: Planning a wedding is not always as blissful as it looks in the movies. Sometimes an engagement brings up new stressors between a bride and groom. Whose parents are going to pay for what? Are all out-of-town family members invited to the rehearsal dinner? A premarital counselor can not only offer support during this hectic time, but also help build a solid foundation for your marriage.

If you are planning a wedding in a house of worship, you may have already attended your first premarital counseling session as some churches and synagogues require it. If you are just now considering the idea, start preparing for your session and these are the reasons why this helps:

1. Removes Pressure

Marriage might put additional pressure on everyone and impair the relationship, but even if no such thing happens, being defensive, aggressive, or passive-aggressive in your communication is a problem that won’t go away on its own. And it also takes some time to practice new ways of talking to each other assertively, which is why you shouldn’t leave your sessions for the last minute. Why not start off as a married couple with the right foot?

2. Address Serious Snags with Your PartnerPremarital counseling sessions will involve some testing and some interviewing by the counselor, together and separately, to determine the state of your relationship and how suitable you are for each other. This step is not intended to scare you or to pick your flaws; it merely shows the counselor what to focus on. Sometimes one session is enough; although more is always better, mostly somewhere between three and six sessions is the ideal number of sittings with the counselor.

3. Resolve the Existing Resentments

When people get married, there are no unresolved issues that hover over their heads. But this is not a realistic picture. In reality, couples wed with many persistent problems, and premarital counseling is where these can be addressed so that you commence your future without the past lingering around.

It is important that you and your partner speak the facts instead of just a verbal nod or a yes or no, because while some issues may require nods, others may require a clarity and consent to understand the issue first and fix it before marriage.

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Author: Marci Stiles

Marci Stiles

Member since: Feb 16, 2017
Published articles: 11

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