Is There a Dark Side of Gratitude?

Studies repeatedly show that those who express gratitude are happier people. They have higher levels of positive emotions and suffer less from anxiety and depression.

Furthermore, we know that it’s possible to cultivate an attitude of gratitude. Those who want to increase their feelings of appreciation can try a gratitude list, journaling, or even a gratitude jar.

Is There a Gratitude Dark Side?

But, today, I’m exploring the "dark side" of gratitude. Because often people can say, "oh, just be happy with what you have." Or "you are so lucky, why would you want to go for more?" And then the person is left feeling as though it’s wrong to keep striving.

I’ll give you a personal example. A year ago, I got Lasik surgery done on my eyes. I attended follow up appointments afterwards to check on my vision, and I noticed that my left eye wasn’t quite right. But instead of encouraging me to get a correction, the doctor went to great lengths to remind me of how blessed I am to have near perfection vision. (Which was entirely true)

Now, should I have been grateful for how far I’ve come? Yes

Should I have said "ok, that’s good enough?" I didn’t think so.

After all, I’d spent thousands of dollars on this procedure, and I wanted it to be done right.

So, where does the line fall between gratefulness and progress?

I believe that it falls somewhere in between. And that it’s ok to want excellence while being grateful for what you have. You see, without the drive for more we’d fall into depression as well. Everything we would do would be mediocre. And no small amount of happiness comes from having a deep purpose that we work towards every day.

So, what can you do? Practice both gratitude and excellence.

• Use those gratitude lists but also write down your goals.
• Remind yourself how good your day was but also see where you could make changes.
• Play a gratitude game with your kids but also visualize a totally awesome future with them.
• Do a gratitude meditation but also write down your mission statement

It’s ok to do both. In fact, I think it’s what leads to the most happiness. A beautiful combination of both values is what makes like the most interesting and meaningful.

And a recent study stands behind this, and says it’s good to put them together. In a 2011 study, a group that counted their blessings after thinking of their goals reported making more progress on their goals. Overall, the study found that people feel motivated and energized when they experience gratitude.

"Gratitude helps you to grow and expand; gratitude brings joy and laughter into your life and into the lives of all those around you." – Eileen Caddy

P.S. My left eye healed over time, and I didn’t have to get a correction. I certainly AM grateful for my eyesight, but I would have gotten it fixed if it needed it.

What do you think is the balance between the two forces? I’d love to know!

Jenn writes at her blog healthyhappyimpactful.com. She’s a mom of three looking to learn and grow. Check it out if you love helpful tips on health, family, and personal growth.