The Styles of Conflict

Conflict, whether we like it or not, is a part of our daily lives. We find ourselves arguing with our partner, friend, colleague, and even strangers at the station. Situations like these tend to begin from a disagreement, but when we look deeper, it can come from a scenario of someone who feels their space is being invaded.

Most people prefer not to partake in conflict, whereas others tend to thrive in it. As much as one would like to avoid it as much as possible, there are times when it is necessary because it can determine a person defending their stance, or it can lead to a situation where a middle ground and compromise can be made. However, at times there is no means to reach a peaceful situation, and the situation can take an ugly turn.

In relationships, conflicts are very common. It can be over something minor or a heavy matter. Depending on what your style of conflict is along with your partner’s, a lot can be avoided or achieved if there is an understanding of both partners goes about dealing with a situation. The styles of conflict are:

• Avoider: The person dislikes conflict and dodges it at any given a chance. They compromise on their feelings out of fear or to keep the peace.
• Accommodator: This approach appears easygoing but is more pleasing based. They go out of their way to make others happy to their own detriment.
• Compete: They tend to be argumentative in nature. Never admit defeat and let their ego drive them. This causes them to be controlling and difficult to be with.
• Compromise: A more balanced approach that is focused on creating calm. People with this approach see the bigger picture and have better balance.
• Collaborator: Another healthy style where a person has a lot of self-worth and carries a good balance of work and life equilibrium.

Be aware of where you fit in this list and be willing to become more of a collaborator rather than submit or fight constantly. The key to making a relationship work has more to do with solving problems together rather than stating, ‘I am right.’

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