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5 Ways to Get to Know Someone Beyond Their Name

Author: Jennifer Kropf
by Jennifer Kropf
Posted: Aug 03, 2022
know someone

Meeting new people can be awkward and on top of that, be very shallow. Most people don’t open up to new friendships and relationships right away, leaving the conversation wanting more. If you find yourself having a hard time getting to know someone better or even realize you might be the one to make it difficult to connect, check out these five tips to get to know someone beyond their name:

  1. Ask them deep questions

If you’re just trying to pass time and make conversation then by all means, ask them what their favorite color is. But if you’re truly trying to get to know someone you need to start by asking them deeper, more personal questions. These don’t have to be what your deepest darkest secret is kind of a question, but anything that provokes a thought before answering is a good start. Make it easy with this list of 350 deep questions to ask to get to know someone better.

  1. Listen

Now that you’ve asked the question(s), it’s time to listen! And I mean actively listening. For some this might be the hardest part. When a person has an engaging audience and feel like they’re being heard then they are more likely to feel comfortable sharing. So next time someone is speaking to you make sure to keep eye contact, wait to speak until they’re finished and lean in.

  1. Stay present

Now that you’re actually listening to what a person has to say, make sure you stay present (because not all conversations are good ones). Maybe your new "friend" is really into anime but you have no interest–resist the urge to wander out of the conversation. They’re sharing something they enjoy so be sure to stay in the conversation.

  1. Body language

Your body language is the easiest way to help you enjoy more meaningful relationships. For example, nobody wants to engage with someone who is scowling with their arms crossed over their chest. You want people to feel comfortable to approach you. Recognizing others' body language is just as important when they are sharing details about themselves. If it’s suggested that the current topic might be a touchy subject then redirect or if they seem excited about something, then ask them more about it.

  1. Be honest / Be open / Be genuine

A false connection is not a connection. If you’re pretending to be someone you’re not just to limit the awkwardness of conversation then you won’t ever find deeper relationships. Even if you disagree or are totally different from another person, you’re still learning and getting to know them better. So remember to be truthful and open to sharing about yourself and being genuine in your questions, compliments and comments.

Remember that getting to know someone doesn’t always "just happen" so it’s okay if it takes time to make those connections and create deeper relationships. If you’re sincere about trying to connect, especially by using these five tips to get to know someone better, then new friendships are bound to happen.

About the Author

Jenn writes at her blog She’s a mom of three looking to learn and grow. Check it out if you love helpful tips on health, family, and personal growth.

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Author: Jennifer Kropf
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Jennifer Kropf

Member since: Dec 17, 2019
Published articles: 82

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